Asin, Toyo, Bagoong, Patis - ATBP

ISANG BOSES

Five

May 4, 2006

 

Immigration rallies sweep the USA.  Millions take to the streets to voice out their displeasure of how the US government is handling their rights.  Whose rights?  Illegal immigrants.  What?  They have rights?  According to them, they do.  The 11 to 12 million illegal Mexican immigrants in the USA think that they deserve to stay and work in the country.  Even after crossing the border illegally and violating the sovereignty of the United States. 

 

Are they correct in doing this?  There a lot of views to this debate.  Some proS and some conS.  But this is not the point to this article.  We should eagerly await the result of this.  We hope that President Bush’ guest worker program pushes through so that even our kababayan’s who are here can take benefit.

 

Why then is this piece being written?  To urge our kababayans, much like the paisanos of the Mexicans are doing, into taking action to also urge Congress and your representatives to take care of the people who have been legally waiting for years to get their immigrant visas into the US.  We are talking about our LEGAL petitions for our parents, brothers, sisters and family members to come into the country and join us, naturalized Americans, and enjoy the benefits that this great country has afforded us.

 

It is time that we put aside our regional differences, our crab mentality, our kanya-kanya attitude and join forces to have our voices heard by our representatives and speed up the processing of these legal petitions for our family members.  Kahit wala kayong kapamilya na naghihintay ng petition, let us let the government know that we have a united voice in asking, peacefully, for these petitions to move and get approved by the proper authorities.

 

We are not demanding rights that are illegally procured.  All we are asking is for the government to grant our LEGAL petitions for our family members to come to the US through the due process already in place.

 

If the illegal Mexican immigrant can become a resident after “ONLY” eleven (11) years of stay in the country, why do our family members have to wait TWENTY (20) to THIRTY (30) years of LEGAL paper work, to come and join us here.

 

If the ILLEGAL Mexican immigrant can be granted guest worker status for being here ILLEGALY, why can’t our family members be given the same privilege considering the fact that we have gone through the LEGAL DUE PROCESS?

 

WHY?   Because we are not doing anything.  America is at the crossroads of an immigration policy that has to be changed.  If we just sit here and do nothing, we are going to be left behind.  We need to stand up and voice our concerns because this is the only way we can be heard.  ISANG BOSES!!!!

 

What can I do?  There are plenty of things to do.  Following is a list of possible steps:

 

1.      Call, email, write or visit your Congressman and tell him/her about the countless of Filipinos awaiting LEGAL petition status, that if he/she can introduce a bill to speed up this process and that if they can also be granted “guest worker” status just like the ILLEGAL MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS.  You can use this link to email your Congressman or Senator:   http://www.congress.org/congressorg/home

 

2.      Encourage your association leadership, if any, to start a signature petition towards this end and submit to your Congressman so they know how many constituents they will be helping and who will be helping them out in return come election time.

 

3.      Call radio stations, write to newpapers, write internet blogs inviting other Filipinos and other Asians (Thais, Vietnamese, Malaysians, Indians, Indonesians, atbp) to do the same in their own areas and associations.

 

4.      Include your name in this letter petition with your city and state so we can put this together and send it to the US Senate Committee on Foreign Relations and Committee on Immigrations.

 

5.      Email this web page to your friends and urge them to do the same with their friends within the US in the hope that they can start a movement in their own areas of the country.

 

6.      Email us your full name, city and state so we can include you in the petition letter below.  Please email us:    five@ambergroupusa.com

 

ISANG BOSES!!!  Magka-isa!!!  Let our voices be heard.  It is time to get together and work for a worthy cause.  This is a start and let us get the ball rolling.  With hard work, good things will happen. With the grace of the Almighty Lord, we may, someday, achieve our goal, our families together in this great country we now call home, the USA.

 

Our letter will look like this:

 

 

Honorable Congressman:

 

We, the undersigned Filipino-Americans, would like to request your assistance in initiating, co-authoring or supporting a bill that will allow our LEGAL PETITIONS for our family members to be allowed as “guest workers” into the country much like what President Bush is proposing for the ILLEGAL MEXICAN immigrants.

 

Please be aware that these LEGAL petitions have been pending for sometime now (about twenty to thirty years) and your support for this undertaking will be greatly appreciated.  We, Filipinos, are a people who believe in debt of gratitude and come election time, you can count on our complete support for your candidacy by votes, volunteer work for your campaign and even campaign contributions.

 

Thank you and God Bless.

 

 

Signed_________________________   _____________   _____________

                   (Full Name)                        (City)                 (State)

 

 

Five is a freelance writer.

For comments on this article, please email to:  five@ambergroupusa.com

 

 

 

 

H(o)US(e)BAND – Head of Household?

Written by:  FIVE

January 31, 2006

 

Migration to America is a dream come true to many Filipinos, or is it?

 

The land of milk and honey has always been and will always be a final destination to many of our kababayans.  The promise of high paying jobs, nice cars, expensive houses, sights and sounds of the big cities and more have enticed many Filipinos over the years. Add to this, the sorry state of the Philippine economy mainly due to corruption on all levels of the government and we have a recipe for mass migration, approximately 1. 9 million in all (about 900,000 in California).

 

The United States is in dire need of college level professionals especially in the fields of nursing, physical therapy and teaching.  The Philippines has produced college graduates in these areas that are comparable to the best in the world.  It is small wonder why we have American and Filipino companies, alike, scouring the 7,000 islands of the Pearl of the Orient in finding manpower suitable to their needs.  And, they do not have to look for long. 

 

Filipino teachers and nurses have always been one of, if not, the lowest paid and overworked professions in the country.   Mass migration of these professionals have caused alarm to Philippine leaders.  They predict that there will be a shortage of health professionals in the next five to ten years.

 

How does a Filipino immigrant family look like?  More often, the wife who happens to be a teacher or nurse, will get a job in the U.S. on an H-1 working visa.  After a few months or one year, she is able to petition for the rest of the family to join her.  Due to  restrictions of US immigration laws, however, the husband cannot work right away because of the H-4 visa (dependent visa).  Furthermore, the husband will take sometime to acclimatize to the new environment plus the jobs available may not be suitable for him based on his education and experience from the Philippines.  As such, he ends up taking care of the family as a “houseband”.

 

All of a sudden, the world has turned upside down.  The man ends up staying at home taking care of house chores: cooking, dishwashing, laundry, feeding the kids and taking them to school, work that have always been done by the housewife or the maid (katulong).  Many Filipino men go crazy about this.  To top it all, the wife, who is now the breadwinner for the family, has changed.  The few months or years that she was by herself in the US has afforded her opportunities that eluded her when she was in the Philippines.  She now drives a brand new car, goes to the movies whenever she wants to, goes shopping on her own, goes to parties by herself and others.

 

Experiences vary but some of the most common gripes of “housebands” include:  staying in the apartment all day without anybody to talk to, the wife trying to own all the time of day, wanting to go home right away during parties, prohibiting the husband from downing a few cold ones with the “barkada”, shouting at them in front of friends and many others.  Lots of nicknames have come off about these housebands:  RN – Registered Nanny, Tigas (tigas-saing, tigas- sundo),

The working mothers, on the other hand, also have their common gripes: my husband always drinks, he never cooks and cleans the house, I have to do all the house chores during my day-off, he sleeps all day and many others.

 

Either way, we have a conflict.  The husbands have, for so long, been used to being the working man.  The wives who have been used to caring for the children and maintenance of the house are enjoying the freedom and authority that comes with being the family breadwinner.  Both cases have its own downside.

 

The men become depressed and resentful.  The women can become abusive and controlling.  This is an equation for disaster.  Is there a solution to this dilemna? Yes, there is!!!

 

For the men, here are some things that can be done:

 

  1. Find a hobby that you can engage in while the wife is at work and children are in school.  This can include sports such as Tennis, Basketball, Bowling and others.
  2. Network with other husbands within your area.  They can provide plenty of support and assistance.  This is not to be confused with doing “tsismis” or drinking and gambling sessions.  It is alright to have some time for this but abusing it will only make matters worse.
  3. Provide specialty services for members of the Filipino community such as skills like mechanics, driving a car pool service, baking delicacies, cooking for parties, electronics and electricians, opening a small business, plumbing and many others.  These services are very expensive and you can earn some pocket money. Just make sure you are not violating the terms of your H-4 visa ( do not take check payments, specially from companies and businesses).
  4. Volunteer your services for organizations in your area such as fund raisers for your child’s school, church projects, library projects, reading and tutorial services.  Just make sure to prioritize your household responsibilities over these.
  5. If permitted, enroll in your local college or university and take courses that will allow you to work in the U.S when your H-4 visa is changed to immigrant visa.
  6. Understand that this situation is only temporary.  As soon as you receive your work permits, everything will change.  Until that time comes, you must prepare yourself to be able to work under the laws of the U.S.  If you are an engineer, you must take licensure tests to be able to work as an engineer or you can end up working as an assistant and not make the full pay.
  7. Also understand that you need to put your part in this marriage and that part is the household, at this time.

 

For the working women, on the other hand, the following can ease up the tension and facilitate the transition of your husband into “housebands:

 

  1. Provide him with a day-off from the regular house chores to have some personal time.  Even maids are given time-offs.  Your husband deserves this. Avoid choking him.  He might even decide to spend it with you.  Just the thought that he can go wherever he wishes is a consolation.  Believe it or not, he will be happier and more productive.
  2. Be supportive and not controlling.  If you love your espouse, a certain degree of sacrifice is necessary.  Just because somebody in your unit or school is controlling her husband does not mean you have to follow.  Nagging him will only make him feel unworthy and unwanted.  After all, your marriage vows said “for better or for worse”.  This is only a start.  Things will turn for the better.
  3. Avoid embarrassing your husband in front of his male friends, especially when they are having drinks.  Whether you like it or not, men will always take offense to this.  Agree on a common time when to leave a party and secretly signal him.  This might take some effort at first but when both of you get used to it, there will be more harmony and peace.  Oftentimes, a responsible husband will tell his friends it is time to go and that he has had enough to drink specially if he is driving.  If they really are friends, they should understand.
  4. Allow him to weigh in on financial matters.  Some husbands take to hiding sideline income because their wives do not let them sign checks.  The best thing to do is to agree on a spending amount, say $20 to $50.  Anything above this amount, both parties have to be consulted.  Also, make sure your checking account is joint and that he is a signatory.  It only takes one trip to your bank.

 

If these are not enough, there are support groups within the community where you can turn to.  These include the Filipino associations, regional associations (Ilocano, Kapampangan, Bisayan, Ilongo and more), the Knights of Columbus, the Couples for Christ and many others.

 

Whoever said coming to America is a piece of cake must have been brought here when they were children with well-to-do parents.  Compromise is the best way to deal with problems.  Communication is the key.  Both sides must not listen to what other people are saying specially those who are merely pretending to give advice but, in fact, just adding to the fire (gatong).  Talk to each other and you will be surprised at what the two of you can achieve.  Both of you will ultimately decide on what is best for your family.

 

 

FIVE  is a freelance writer. 

For comments on this article, please write to:  five@ambergroupusa.com

 

 

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